That God Would Let Me Be A Part

I had another one of those moments today, one of those moments that humbles me to tears as I think, “this is why I came….this is why I love.” I left the LCA office at 1:00 to take four new SIMpacters to get food and skirts before they left for their ministry site. It was cloudy and sprinkling and of course the bottom fell out. We were soaked and had just begun walking. A couple hours later, we finished all of out shopping and had only one more stop. Now, I must explain something. In Nairobi there are street children that ask for money every 100 yards or so. However, there are also those children that the parents have put them to work. So… the girls and I had already been approached by several children who were not actually orphaned street children. We were making our last stop when we were approached by a young boy from the streets. I could tell immediately that he was starving and sleeping on top of a trash pile somewhere. My heart went out to him for some reason so I stopped to talk to him and his friends. (This is common, normally street children travel in a small group because they’ve become family.) I found out their names and ages. I don’t ever give money… so I asked my new friend, Mohammad, if they would wait right where they were so I could bring them some bread and milk. He told me YES! YES! And then out of no where threw his arms around me and hugged me. He hugged me twice simply because I was going to buy him some bread and milk! It was the sweetest, saddest moment. I knew that I loved this child and that God was loving them all through my hands that day, but I also realized it was only bread and milk. They were truly hungry. What could I offer that would make their lives better. The bread and milk would be finished soon and they would still be hungry. To tell them of the love of God is needed but will they remember my words when they crawl back onto the top of the trash pit that night? My new friends will probably never remember the Mzungu that stopped that day, but I pray that they never forget the five or ten minutes that someone cared about their lives. I know that that day… the Lord was providing for all of his children. He was just kind enough to let me be a part of it.

“I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”
(John 6:51)

Dust

Another week has flown by in east Africa and I am becoming alarmingly aware of how little time I have left. I have officially changed ministries and living arrangements once again. And, have already been blessed with new friendships with the Kenyans I am working with.

This weekend I was able to go up to Karatina to help with some training and teaching. The seminar was on leadership and learning to run small groups. There was a video used in the teachings called “Dust”. It dealt with the phrase, “take my yoke” and “may you be covered in the dust of your rabbi.” I am going to try to explain it as it opened my eyes to some new truths.

The guy in the video starts off explaining that in the Jewish tradition that most boys didn’t get schooling beyond 10 and that only the best went on from there. Then from the next break only the best of the best. It ends up that only the very best students were chosen to be a disciple of a rabbi. When the student would go to the rabbi and ask to be his disciple, the student would be asked a lot of questions. If the rabbi thought you were good/smart enough to learn to do what he does then you could follow him. That means… that when Jesus approached James and John while they were fishing, they had already been rejected by a rabbi. So, when Jesus called out to them to follow him… of course they go running because it is every Jewish boy’s desire to be a disciple of a rabbi and these boys had already been rejected. It also meant that Jesus was saying .. he thought they had what it takes to do the things he was doing… to learn and follow him. He thought they were good enough… He believed in them. It is the same today… when the Lord called us, He believed we could learn from him and do what he called us to do. Why he would ever believe in me is beyond my understanding. I fail and mess up… I am weak and stubborn, I am a ragamuffin. But…still He called out to me and invited me to walk in his footsteps. Satan has begun throwing fear back into mix for me. As I see my time coming to a close in Kenya and this huge black hole of a future waiting for me as soon as I return, I become a little overwhelmed. I begin doubting who I am and if I have what it takes. The lies of the deceiver fill my mind and I must remind myself that the Lord is in control. For me, to know that my Lord believes I have what it takes is the most comforting thought. I only pray that I will follow so closely in His steps that I will be covered with the "dust of my rabbi."

And Now It Has Lifted!!

Oh Father, hasten the day that I might bow down at your throne and worship you in every tongue, every language. Yesterday, I had the joy of worshiping you in English, Kiswahili, Hindi, and Congolese. Many times I did not know exactly what the words meant. I only knew that your spirit was moving and at work in those who were gathered. As I listened to the Congolese refugees sing praises to your name I realized that I could hardly wait for Heaven. In Revelations 15:4 it says, “Who will not fear you, O Lord, and bring glory to your name? For you alone are holy. All nations will come and worship before you, for your righteous acts have been revealed.” What a joy and a privilege to worship with all nations!

This week starts a new phase of my time in Kenya. I will meet with 3 new ministries again to nail down what and when. I have moved into a new place in Nairobi and am learning contentment in living in the city. At times I miss taking baths from a bucket and hand washing my clothes. I don’t know that I thought that would ever happen. It is amazing how God moves in our lives to bring satisfaction and joy in our circumstances. I am hopeful for the last two months of my time in this country. I pray that the Lord reveals Himself in more ways. I pray that I will not hesitate to pour out all that I am for the glory of the cross.

I am so thankful for your prayers and support as the Lord has moved me and challenged my faith. I have struggled with love, contentment, forgiveness, and flexibility. The Lord has removed comfort and stability so that I might come running back to Him. It is always an incredible feeling when we rest in His arms once more. I remember the words of yet another song, “I am safe within your arms Lord, I’ve become a child again. I’ve come back to the source of love so healing can begin. Tough the world may say, I must be strong and prove my worth--- by what I do. I will run to you, in your embrace and find my strength in you.” Join me in praise and adoration of the gospel of Hope!