Turkey Circus

I must begin with a misclaimer! I am from Senatobia which is not exactly a metropolitan city, but I did not grow up on a farm or around a lot of farm animals. So, the only chicken I’ve ever held was dead or the small chick at my friend’s farm. I’ve never personally milked a cow, or gathered eggs from the coop.

Now for the narrative: Grace, Susan, and I are on our way back from a place called Embu. We are on a matatu, which is extremely dangerous and stressful. Grace turns to me and says, we need to stop in Kutus to get a Turkey. Huh? “There is a lady in Kutus who wants to give us a one of the Turkeys she’s been raising.” Oh, well that makes sense, right? Naturally I ask, “Is it dead or alive?” She responds as if there is only one answer… “ALIVE”. OH, okay… no big deal! Ha! Now image with me you hop off the matatu and walk about 2 kilometers to a little dirt road. We turn onto this dirt road and it is covered on both sides with banana trees, flowers, and all kinds of vegetation. It is absolutely beautiful! We walk and walk and wind and walk until finally we reach this lady’s shamba. We sit and have lunch chat until it’s time to go. Grace turns to me and says, “How are we going to get this turkey back?” At this point there is one choice, we’re going to carry it. I immediately phone Mr. Mike to see if he can meet us on the main road because no matatu would dare pick us up with a live turkey. He agrees and we gather our things to head to the road. Sweet Nancy decides she’ll let me pick out the turkey she is going to give her. Now listen, my only experience with a turkey is one that comes processed in a package labeled deli meat or one that my dad has deep fried for the holidays. I laughed and said, “Well, since I have to carry it, please not a huge one.” She chases it down in a display that quickly makes me aware of the challenge before me. She hands it to me to hold so she can bound it’s feet. So here I am in Kutus, Kenya holding a turkey under it’s wings getting read to carry it about 2 miles. Turkey’s are not light!!! And their neck is very flexible making it completely possible to peck at your hand while you are carrying it. I walked faster than I ever have to get to the road to get this turkey in the van. However, once in the van, the crazy bird had to be held down so he didn’t go psycho during the trip. We finally arrive at BCH after a detour for the camera because Mr. Mike was dying to have a picture of me carrying this turkey. I wrestle it out of the van and during the process knock the binding off its feet. While I’m holding the turkey up, John reties its feet together. ( I’m calling it, it because I have no idea if it is a him or her!) I go to put it down thinking, well, it will flap its wings for a second but will stop when it realizes it can’t go anywhere. Then we can put it in the cage that was made. WRONG!!! That turkey had his feet unbound within 3 seconds flat and was off! In all my wisdom, I access the situation. I quickly reassure everyone that turkeys can’t fly so it’ll be fine. WRONG!!! Turkeys can’t fly but they sure can move. He moved right through the hedge into the neighbor’s shamba. John and I take off to capture our dinner. He has moved beyond their yard into the back neighbor’s land. So, John and I quickly make our way through the barbed wire as Mr. Mike joins us with the camera. That bird took us all over the place and just enjoyed his freedom the entire time…Until, it all ended dramatically with Grace coming out of no where to catch the bird by the neck. She caught it and handed him up to the professional turkey carrier! HA! It was hilarious! One of those moments I thought, I am really in Kenya and yes… I am really carrying a live turkey! Don’t worry… most of it was caught on camera!!